Checked out

I still have about 45 minutes of my work day left, but my mind is not here. Granted, my mind is usually not at work when I am, but I make it through the day. Don't worry, my mind isn't at work when I'm not here either. Which is why I am in the process of revamping my life, including my thought processes. For example, when I'm stuck in traffic, I no longer think "damn this traffic" and try to find the quickest possible route through it. Instead I think "huh. here I am in traffic. not much I can do about it" and turn up the radio. The other day I picked my parents up from the airport. I was fortunate enough to be going at a time when the sun was beginning to set. I don't think I've ever realized just how beautiful St. Paul can be. As I was driving over a bridge, I had a great view of the bluffs over the river and the trees starting to change. It reminded me of being in the boundary waters, sitting on a rock looking out at the lake. I wanted to do nothing but drive over to the bluffs and find a rock to sit on for awhile, or take a long walk in the trees. I think sometimes people, myself included, spend too much time worrying about what might happen, or what hasn't happened yet, and not enough time thinking about what's going on right now. I'm especially guilty of that lately. Until a few weeks ago, I didn't realize how I was feeling about certain things or people, and how those things or people were affecting my life...both positively and negatively. The good thing was, as soon as I realized which things or people were negatively affecting my life, I started making changes. Had I not taken the time to think and made those changes, it is very likely I would have missed the view of the bluffs all together. Life can be something of a catch-22 sometimes...I can walk with my head up looking everything straight in the eye...and I could unexpectedly step in a pile of shit. Or I can walk with my head down, looking for the pile of shit so I can step around it, and miss all the goods things looking at the top of my head. Personally, I'd rather step in the pile of shit.